On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
