as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
