If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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