I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
