Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
