Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
