I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
