man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
