Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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