I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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