I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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