I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
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he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
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BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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