if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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