if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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