I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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