Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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