i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Did we literally take a cab across the street
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize