the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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