Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
His nipple licking is glorious
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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