Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
