i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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