Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
