I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
