I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I am available for nakedness
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