My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize