I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I want a musical about memes.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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