my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
