I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
As shirtless as possible
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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