yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
