sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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