Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I smell stomach acid.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize
