marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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