gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
