I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Randomize
