oh god the rape fog is back!
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize