I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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