You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
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