It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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