it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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