Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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