She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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