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• (509): View more from Washington

  I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Whatever it was. it was pregnant.

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• (518): View more from New York

  im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.

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  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.

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• (925): View more from California

  It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...

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  23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.

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• (352): View more from Florida

  But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts

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