you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
