He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie