Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?