Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.

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(480): View more from Arizona

Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it

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(732): View more from New Jersey

So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(804): View more from Virginia

finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.

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(317): View more from Indiana

He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death

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(605): View more from South Dakota

and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.

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(314): View more from Missouri

That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.

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(407): View more from Florida

He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.

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