The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
