It's just like the Real World with babies
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
