i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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