We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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