I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
