so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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