Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
He passed out mid-signature
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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