I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
