wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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