Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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