i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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