I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
