he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
