I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
