The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
