I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
