i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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