super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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