He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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