Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Randomize
