I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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