It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
