the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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