Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
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