Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
