Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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