its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Mom said you looked used
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
sex in a hospital.. check
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
